Just Some Korn-On-The-Kolb

The Raiders' Tommy Kelly called Kolb "Scared," so why is he still on the Cardinals roster?

Last year the Arizona Cardinals presented the Philadelphia Eagles with a trade that would signal a serious intent to fill the empty shoes that Kurt Warner had left behind in 2009. 2010 had been a disaster with Derek Anderson at the helm, a failed experiment to say the least. The team went an abysmal 5-11 in a putrid NFC West that saw its division won by a 7-9 team. Let me reiterate, for anyone who forgot or misread what I said, A 7-9 team (Seattle) won the NFC East. So with things taking a turn for the worst the Cardinals got desperate, in this case, a little too desperate.

In July of 2011 Arizona sent Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, whom they had drafted with their 1st pick in the 2008 draft, along with a 2012 second round pick to the Eagles in exchange for backup Kevin Kolb. Philly really had no use for Kolb because of the emergence of Mike Vick, who was just kicking his game into the highest gear. Plus, Andy Reid’s staff had been well known for ultra-preparing backups in case of emergency situations, so whatever third-string QB they had would be fine with the confidence of the system. Backups in the past like A.J. Feely, Koy Detmer, and Kolb had the green light if they entered the game. There, case in point, is a major reason why the Cardinals got duped in their pursuit of Kolb. Instead of getting the talented, 300-yard passing Kolb, they got a hearty serving of Korn-on-the-Kolb.

Corny, yes I know, but it’s pretty fitting. With what assets the Cardinals gift-wrapped to Philly there needed to be some real compensation right? Not exactly. Kolb started the season off with a bang throwing for 309 yards and two TDs in the team’s first game against the Panthers, a 28-21 win. But from there on Kolb was as mediocre as they come finishing his injury-plagued nine-game season with a little less than 2,000 yards, 9 TDs, 8 INTs and absurd 7 fumbles. Looks like Korn-on-the-Kolb to me (God, that’s corny, but kinda makes you laugh in that, ‘That wasn’t funny at all, which makes it kind of funny” way.) Ok, ok, it was his first season in Arizona, he needs to get acclimated to the playbook, he was ravaged by injuries, blah, blah, blah. However, take these ridiculous numbers into account Kolb received a $10 million dollar signing bonus when he inked his contract last year. The contract itself? 6 years/$63.5 million. 6 YEARS/$63.5 MILLON? FOR KEVIN KOLB? IN THIS ECONOMY? Stunning, shocking, flabbergasting, (insert large word here that I can’t even think of because I’m so astounded.) In 2013 alone, he’s a $14.9 million cap hit. We’re talking about Kevin Kolb people, we’re not even talking about Joe Flacco or Jay Cutler. We’re not even talking about Aaron Brooks (Yeah, I went that far.)

That takes me to my next point, has anyone watched this guy in preseason this year? No, probably none of you have because none of you care about the Cardinals. I certainly haven’t actually watched Kevin Kolb play this preseason, but I have seen his ridiculously ugly plays on Sportscenter, that’s for sure. Raiders defensive end Tommy Kelly had this to say after Oakland’s preseason game vs. Arizona in which Kolb went 3-of-6 and was sacked three times:

"That boy's scared."

"He is skittish," Kelly said of Kolb. "He is scared back there. Anytime anybody gets close to him, he starts looking at the refs. As a defensive lineman you love a quarterback like that. He ain't even trying to look at the routes no more. He is paying attention to us and you ain't going to get nothing done like that

Are you kidding me? A guy getting paid roughly more than $10 million dollars can’t stand back there and look competent, let alone actually be competent? Not looking at his routes?  Paying attention to the lineman? Where does in the quarterback handbook does it say to do these things? Please tell me, Kevin Kolb. But seriously, when defensive lineman are telling you, you look scared in a preseason game, that better signal a red-flag to the coaching staff and the organization that you better get this guy some man juice or just bite the cap bullet and flat-out cut him.

Let’s face it, Kevin Kolb is a career backup and a product of the solid preparation system the Eagles have in place. I can safely say after seeing his painstakingly mediocre season combined with his fear of dropping back in the pocket and his inability to actually look at his wide receivers, that this guy is not NFL-starter material. He’s also locked in losing a quarterback battle with a guy named John Skelton, whose name looks far too much like Skeleton to be someone I can take seriously. That guy also played his ball at Fordham. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know they had football there.

Lucky for the Cardinals, this is the NFL and in the NFL they cut guys faster and more ruthlessly than Mel Gibson in any of his action movies. I have no idea what sort of guaranteed money they gave this chump, but if it coincides at all with the “savvy” move to acquire him then I bet you it’s a lot. Either way the Cardinals, need to cut their losses, move on with Skeleton and forget the one and a half years the team waded through a swamp with Kolb at the helm.