The Top Ten "This Is Sportscenter" Commercials

Sportscenter, certainly the most watched sports show on television, has no need to advertise in anyway, shape or form. It's the ABC Nightly News of sports, everyday. Yet the ESPN decided in 1994 to start an absolutely ingenious ad campaign for Sportscenter, including all types of athletes and all of the Sportscenter anchors. From day one the commercials were an instant hit, and still today, 17 years later, the ESPN writers are pumping out classic after classic. We decided to compile a list of the top ten Sportscenter classics for our viewers here. Enjoy the list:

10. Movember

ESPN tries it's hand at Movember and totally hits a home run. Ravech is bragging to 2010 MVP Joey Votto about his mustache and how he's going to win Movember. Well then Mr. Red walks out. "Good luck with that, uh, mustache."

9. The Chosen One

Back in the day when Lebron wasn't everyone's least favorite person, he was a regular on "This is Sportscenter." Stuart Scott's delivery, laughing at his nickname "The Chosen One" is so subtle, yet so unstoppably hilarious.

8. Ovie's A Spy

I could sit all day and listen to Alex Ovechkin butcher the english language with his russian accent donned with a nice old lisp. But once he laughs in this commercial, you immediately lose it.

7. Performance Enhancers

Yep, Sportscenter even touched on this one. Scott Van Pelt takes some "Performance Enhancers" in the form of a thesaurus, the rest is ridiculous. Check Stuart Scott's reaction at the beginning, amazing.

6.Brett Favre's Return

Sportscenter pokes a little fun at itself after over covering the multiple Brett Favre retirements and un-retirements. In only the way Sportscenter could, they use the UMass Minutemen mascot to help react "The British are coming," scene from the Revolutionary war. Ingenius.

5. Tim Lincecum's Nickname

I guess when Lincecum isn't striking batters out or hitting the bong, he's a pretty funny guy. Here he's deciding what nickname to use as his voicemail. Karl Ravech helps him out real nicely. "Hey Big Time Timmy Jim, what's up?"

4. Faking Soccer Injuries

"We've been watching a lot of soccer lately at the office. Seems to be causing a rise in workplace injuries." Nothing like an American chirp on the excessive injury faking that goes on in soccer. But John Anderson's acting is perfection.

3."You're From Minnesota Right?"

Anytime you put comedy and the state of Minnesota together, you get a masterpiece. Combine that with Scott Van Pelt's hilarious delivery and you have an instant classic. The accent gets me every single time. Nothing like good 'ol Minnesota.

2. Big Buddy Program

This is an absolute throwback. Kenny Mayne and Stuart Scott help Sportscenter "give back to the community," but instead just yell at the kids and play excessively hard. But even better than those two's acting, is the Jayson Williams appearance. Yeah, the Jayson Williams that shot his limo driver...oops

1.Manny Being Manny

The whole "Manny Being Manny" phenomena got pretty ridiculous right around his departure from the Red Sox. Most sports analysts were abusing the term like a fat kid abuses his arteries. Sportscenter obviously had to take a shot on the issue. I think this commercial achieved elite status because the dialogue is far from overwhelming. Plus, Steve Levy and Jay Harris seem to have formed a lethal duo over the years.

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Stevie Johnson's Celebration Comes Back To Shoot Him In The Leg

Karma, karma, karma. It's a bitch. We all know it, and Stevie Johnson had to learn it the hard way on Sunday. After scoring a TD in the 2nd quarter of the Bills, Jets game Johnson celebrated by pretending to shoot off a couple guns and then pretended to shoot himself in the leg, obviously mocking Jets' wideout Plaxico Burress. This celebration had me in tears from laughing. Plus, it was right in the middle of a big day for Stevie Johnson, who seemingly worked Darelle Revis like a mule. Johnson finished with 8 catches, 75 yards, and a TD, all against the league's best cornerback.

However, Johnson got his for the celebration. At the end of the game, with the Bills driving for a miracle win, Stevie dropped two balls one of the way to the end zone and one in the end zone. If anyone remembers last year when Johnson dropped a game winning TD pass against the Steelers in overtime; this is not a new thing for the Bills "star" receiver. Johnson's career so far has been a roller coaster ride for Bills fans and right now it has reached a seething low. Johnson pretty much dropped the Bills playoff hopes.

Enjoy the celebration, because I surely didn't enjoy the loss.

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Michigan Takes A Step Forward, Ohio State Takes Three

Urban Meyer will take Ohio State further than Jim Tressel

ESPN.com-COLUMBUS, Ohio -- If Ohio State did not come calling, Urban Meyer says he was planning to stay away from coaching for at least another year.

Meyer, the former Florida coach and native Buckeye, was officially hired Monday by Ohio State, a program with a glittering past that has suffered through a difficult year of NCAA violations.

"If not for the coaching position at Ohio State, I would not have coached this year," he said.

Meyer resigned as Gators coach after last season, citing health concerns and a desire to spend more time with his family.

"A year ago in my mind I was convinced I was done coaching," he said.

He added that he is feeling great.

"I've been checked out and I'm ready to go," he said. "I've been to a place and I don't want to go back."

Michigan snapped it's 7 game losing streak on Saturday with a close win over monumental rival Ohio State. The Wolverines, ranked 17th, have been struggling to meet their lofty expectations this season. However, a win over Ohio State erased all of that. Things are seemingly looking up in Ann Arbor.

Ohio State answered back with guns blazing making an unsurprising, yet program changing hire in Urban Meyer. The ex-Florida coach and two-time national champion brings integrity, ingenuity and intellect to a program which was fading fast. The allegations that led to the eventual firing of Jim Tressel were sure to bury the Buckeyes in the preverbial BCS dirt. Ohio State took only one year to find a replacement, and Meyer may just be a better coach. Remember when Florida embarrassed the heavily favored Buckeyes in the 2006 National Championship Game? Yeah, Meyer was Florida's head coach. It may take a season or two for Meyer's philosophy to set in, along with the addition of his recruits, but Meyer should instantly revamp the Columbus, Ohio faithful, who saw The Big Game, on Saturday, be handed to their hated rival for the first time since 2004.

Michigan on the other hand is still a sputtering locomotive. They're an entity within the rankings, but far from a threat to the top ten. Every time Michigan achieves "favorite" status, they come up empty handed. They've been struggling to call Denard Robinson their true starting QB when the guy couldn't find consistency in the dictionary. Losses to rival Michigan State and Iowa this year both came as reminders for America not jump on the Wolverine bandwagon, ever. But, now Michigan, finds itself on a nice three game winning streak with wins over #16 Nebraska, Illinois and, of course, the Buckeyes. Once again though, Ohio State has choked the air in Ann Arbor with the Urban Meyer hiring. I'll tell you what, rookie head coach Brady Hoke's job is certainly safe. But he's going to have some serious work to do if he wants to hold any sort of edge over the new regime in Columbus.

Let's be serious, ever since Lloyd Carr departed in 2007 and maybe even before that, the Wolverines had taken a back seat on the Big Ten bus; as you can guess Ohio State was driving it. The ghosts of Charles Woodson, Desmond Howard and Jim Harbaugh aren't going to return. Michigan hasn't had a consistent superstar, with the exception of possibly Mike Hart, since Braylon Edwards in 2004. It's simply the Wolverine football program is not built with the same sound structure as the Buckeye program is.

And with the hiring of Urban Meyer the Buckeyes just solidified that structure quite a bit more.

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Miracle After Midnight

At 3 AM Eastern Time, Billy Hunter, David Stern, Mo Evans and Derek Fisher made a season saving deal.

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Is this really the return of the NBA? It certainly seems like it. Guess I was smart to stop posting Anti-NBA jargon around September. Honestly before 6 AM today, when I read the article saying a deal had been reached, I was so pessimistic it hurt. But still, I wasn't going to write about my pessimism because I wanted to keep that faint hope alive. That faint flame grew a bit brighter at about 3:30 AM eastern time.

Stunned? Yep. Shocked? Yep. Flabergasted? Yep. Excited? Out of my seat. You couldn't describe the feeling this morning when I heard this news. This issue went from lamentable to laughable to lovable. The NBA's back, you have got to be kidding me! This is like an early Christmas, and ironically this whole shebang starts on Christmas. How unbelievably fitting is that?

Now I know some people have been jumping all over the fact it was a "tentative, handshake agreement." But this deal is all but done. The NBA and NBAPA might as well just dismantle itself and leave the country if either decide to back out at this point. A handshake is a handshake my friends, and if you're a gentleman, you never go back on your handshake.

So here's what we have with a 66 game season starting on Christmas:

Probably no All-Star game.

A boatload of back-to-back games.

A seriously condensed training camp.

Playoffs and Finals each moved back a week, which means our season will end somewhere near the end of June.

One hell of a season.

This season is going to be absolutely off the charts. There will be so much excitement with the season starting on Christmas Day with three ridiculous match ups. Plus how could I not be pumped with MSG getting THE opening game of the entire regular season. As much as we all should be losing our heads over how out-of-the-blue this NBA season is, we need to realize a few things. One, the first 10-15 games are going to be pretty brutal. The normal NBA training camp is 4 weeks long, this year? 2 weeks. That means it's going to take a couple weeks worth of games for the big boys to get into shape and the slow ones to get with the playbook. Expect teams with veteran superstars like the Heat, Celtics, Knicks and Lakers to get off to quick starts while the younger playoff teams like the Thunder, Trailblazers, Hawks and Magic should have sluggish starts. Secondly, since the NBA season will be compacted into less days, that means there will be more back-to-back games. So once everyone gets used to their systems again, then the young teams should take over. The extra back-to-back games are going to benefit depth, not age. So LA and Boston, get your shallow benches ready to play, a lot.

I'm not ready to make any predictions about who I think is going to win it all. I mean the free agents haven't even signed their contracts yet. I'm just simply excited that I get to watch a basketball team in Madison Square Garden not named the Red Storm. 

Get yo' popcorn ready this NBA season is going to be a wild ride.

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Wale Gives Us One Of The Best Sports Rap Songs Ever

Wale has been known for his sports references in rap. He's been on ESPN's first take and he's got plenty of rhymes that will get your sports boner going. Yet, Wale saved us his best sports song ever, with his new track "Barry Sanders" off of his new album Ambition. Wale references:
Barry Sanders's lack of blocking.
How much of a bust Curtis Enis(Penn State running back) was.
How Harold Minor was nothing close to Michael Jordan.
Hasheem Thabeet's unique size.
Victor Page's legal troubles that denied him NBA stardom.
Len Bias's death.
Jordan's Game 6 against the Jazz in '97, known as the "flu game."
Jeff Hornacek's scoring ability.
The Fred Blietnikoff award for college football's best receiver.
Lane Kiffin and the USC Trojans.
Minute Bol.
The Charlotte Hornets trade of Kobe Bryant to the Lakers for Vlade Divac.
Deion Sanders primetime status.
Doug Flutie's hail mary at Boston College.

If you're a sports fan this song should hit one or two chords that will both make you say "wow" and should make you laugh.

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What Bar Down Dandy & Co. Is Thankful For

Thanksgiving it's time of giving thanks, right? Well, BDD&C is grateful for a lot of things in the world of sports, here they are:

1. The Oregon Ducks Jerseys
Oregon's steez are incomparable in the world of sports. The Ducks have 384 different jersey combinations, and I have yet to see one I don't like. Even if Oregon loses to their opponent, they will ALWAYS win the swagger battle.

2.Blake Griffin's Dunking Ability
Sometimes it seems like a big joke, but it's really just Blake Griffin annihilating the atmosphere as he abuses the rim. It's always exciting to have a guy with posterization abilities like this dude. Griffin is also charismatic and hilarious off-the-court, so we might as well be thankful for him as a whole.


3.ESPN's "This Is Sportscenter"Commercials
Being an avid fan of ESPN, I have come to a realization. If you are to write for ESPN, you must be one of the most intelligent AND witty people in the world. ESPN can literally do no wrong when it comes original content. I'm just thankful some corporate network guru in the 1970s thought it'd be a good idea to pour millions(now billions) of dollars into the Entertainment Sports Programming Network.


4.SEC Football
Cause it's not the Big Ten and it's just that damn good.

5.White Clutch Syracuse Guards
Gerry McNamara, Devin Devendorf, Andy Rautins. All three of them thought they were of the African-American variety, which was pretty comical. All three could shoot the three, which got ridiculous at times. All three didn't make it in the NBA. Thank god.


6.USA Hockey
Parise, Kesler, Jack Johnson, Kane, Miller, Rafalski, Bobby Ryan. The list could go on. Nothing better than watching a group of young American stud hockey players scoring ginos and celebrating like they won the lottery. It gets even better when they score with 20 seconds left, thank you Zach Parise.


7.UNC vs. Duke
It's the greatest rivalry in sports, and it is guaranteed to happen twice a year. Let's be serious, every either loves Duke or hates Duke. There is no in between. When these two meet it usually involves a 30 rack and a whole lotta of chirping. The best college basketball games EVER. This year should be no exception.


8.Anytime USC or the Dallas Cowboys Lose
Probably the two most hated teams in football. USC's just a bunch of pre-madonna's and the Cowboys are owned by Jerry Jones and quarterbacked by Tony Romo. What in the world could be better than these two teams losing in dramatic or embarrassing fashion.



9. Nike
Because we all know anything Nike is better than Under Armor.

10. Gus Johnson
The most ridiculous commentator in the history of sports. Gus Johnson could make a chess match look exciting. Johnson's list of ridiculous and exciting calls is about as long as Minute Bol. For every 400 times Joe Buck makes a boring call, Gus Johnson makes one life-altering one. He makes me want to jump out of my seat, and cry my eyes out in laughter. Every. Single. Time.

And probably the greatest call in the history of sports:

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Youtube Vault: Marcus Lattimore Isn't As Tough As He Looks

Marcus Lattimore, South Carolina's Sophomore running back,  is 6'0" 232 lbs. Greg Reid, Florida State's Junior safety, is 5'8" 185 lbs. When the two met each other in the 2010 Chik-Fil-A Bowl, you would have thought Lattimore would've destroyed Reid. However, Greg Reid is a free swinger, and Marcus Lattimore is softer than his stature. Greg Reid simply embarrassed Lattimore, and literally knocked the SC running back out. I never really thought Marcus Lattimore was that good because he was real slow. Greg Reid simply showed us how slow he is last year. Enjoy this knockout blow.

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The New York Islanders Swing And Miss Once Again

The terrible new Islanders third jerseys.

The New York Islanders unveiled their new "third" jersey tonight, and probably should put them back in the closet, forever. These uniforms are absolutely hideous. They seem to be a combination of their new good looking classic jerseys with the color scheme of the 90s jerseys. This led to a disaster. First off the normal blue helmets clash brutally with the black jersey. Second of all, who in their right mind thought the word "Islanders" in normal font would look good on the front of their jersey. Third, the silver lining over the shoulder pads almost saves the jersey, but it's all canceled out by the brutal design going down the right side.

All in all it's just another failed attempt at doing anything by THE WORST organization in the NHL, maybe even in the history of sports. I thought they were doing a great job bringing back the classics, but as we all know it doesn't take long for Charles Wang and Garth Snow to screw up a good thing. I just can't wait for this circus to get to Kansas City and hopefully find itself a loving home.

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Thanksgiving Football Finally Gets Real

Calvin Johnson and Matt Stafford have given the Lions' fans plenty to rave about.

For years we've had the misfortune of watching the Detroit Lions get absolute destroyed every single Thanksgiving game. Then in the 4 o'clock game, we've watched the Cowboys annihilate their homecoming cupcake. As of 2006, the NFL added a third primetime game on their NFL network, but they've seemingly swung and miss on that idea too. So in reality Thanksgiving has only been about food and family in recent years. But 2011 should changed all that. Two of the three thanksgiving games this year have potential to be "Game of the Week."

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions, 12:30 PM
FINALLY! Finally the Detroit Lions are good. Thanks to a phenomenal defensive line, Calvin Johnson and Matthew Stafford, the Detroit Lions are going to be a Thanksgiving show instead of a Thanksgiving goat. I have this special feeling that tomorrow's game is going to be a coming out party. They've got their division rival and the undefeated Green Bay Packers coming in riding a 16 game winning streak dating back to last season. Aaron Rodgers has clearly established himself as the best quarterback in the NFL; just in case you didn't know, the guy needs a doable 20 TDs in 6 games in order to break Tom Brady's record. But the Lions know this is their party. They're going to be on national television while everyone is enjoy too much food, too much food and the right amount of family. If Lions go out there and win this game, which I think they will, then you can sign, seal and deliver the playoff invitation to Ford Field. But, even if they don't win, it's going to be hell of a game. Expect the Ford Field faithful to cause earthquakes every time Megaton makes an absurd catch. Also, we should all expect Ndamukong Suh to destroy a lineman, running back or Aaron Rodger's face.
Lions 31, Packers 28


Miami Dolphins at Dallas Cowboys, 4:15 PM
The Dolphins are on a three game winning streak. Romo is having the best season of his career. But the Dolphins are still 3-7 and I still hate the Cowboys. I'll probably be outside playing football in the backyard with the family during this one.
Cowboys 28, Dolphins 10


San Francisco 49ers at Baltimore Ravens, 8:30 PM
The HARBOWL! When the NFL scheduled this game back in the spring, I'm sure they were excited about the fact Jim and John Harbough were coaching both teams. They definitely expect the 49ers to have the better record. This could be one of the best defensive games we see all year. The Ravens are 4th in total defense and the Niners are 8th. If Ray Lewis plays tomorrow night, then we will be seeing the best linebacker of the previous decade matchup against the best linebacker of this decade in Patrick Willis. The Ravens are coming off a couple questionable last two games: a loss to the Seahawks and a close victory over the Bengals. But, you know that the Ravens turn it on under the bright lights of primetime football, so you shouldn't be worried about the wheels falling off. It's still stunning to see the Niners at 9-1 or really any team in the NFC's worst conference. I'm a win away from being a believer, but I just don't see a East Coast trip for the Niners being that win. Watch Joe Flacco to have a big game, even with Ray Rice getting manhandled by Patrick Willis, NaVorro Bowman and that #1 ranked 49ers rushing defense. I still think the 49ers are going to finish at 13-3 or 14-2, but the Ravens are just too battle-tested in this type of game.
Ravens 20, 49ers 17


Tomorrow is going to be the first Thanksgiving in my lifetime where we're going to have two epic games. So for once we'll truly have family, food and football.

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The Clownshow That Is Tennessee Volunteer Basketball

Wayne Chism was the poster boy for Tenneesee's mental struggles.

Over the last few years there has been continually hype surrounding the Tennessee Volunteer basketball team. They've received preseason rankings, of #20, #13, #11, and #7 in the last four years, only to find themselves exiting the NCAA Tournament in the first round.

The Volunteers have been blessed with some of the finest talent in all of the United States. However, these guys are about as far from polished basketball players as humanly possible. Highly touted recruits like Wayne Chism, Bobby Maze, Tyler Smith and Ramar Smith were immense disappointments once the Vols reached the bright lights of the NCAA Tournament. Tennessee Volunteer basketball was a little bit like watching a bunch of clowns play street ball at Rucker Park. At times it was a sight to see, watching Wayne Chism posterize people or watching Bobby Maze was embarrassing opponents on his way to the basket. But at other points it seemed like the Volunteers weren't even interested in the game. Don't get me wrong these kids had elite talent, but they didn't always use it.  It was, in large thanks, to their terrible head coach Bruce Pearl, who illegally recruited most of these thugs. Pearl was fired last year for lying to NCAA investigators about those same allegations, and for Tenneessee's sake they might as well be thanking god.

Lapses in concentration are almost always associated with the head coach, and in this case it's no different. Bruce Pearl recruited them, coached them and let them run wild both on and off the court. But Pearl was way more interested in grabbing his own attention with his hideous orange jacket and his blinding arrogance. His players didn't simply feed of that attitude, they embodied it. Wayne Chism had a signature look similar to a clowns. Chism wore his head band on the top of his head instead of wearing it normally right about his eyebrows. He probably thought the more ridiculous he looked, the better the chances he would show up in The Source or XXL. Chism and co. came to play seemingly only in big games. Ranked opponents were the only ones these guys woke up for. Like last year when the Volunteers beat #7 Villanova and #3 Pittsburgh in a 3-game span, only to follow that up with a three game losing streak to the likes of Oakland, Charlotte and unranked USC. The Volunteers were disappointments in all-but-one of the 6 straight NCAA tournaments they made starting in 2006. In 2006, Tenneesee was a #2 seed, but lost in the 2nd round. In both 2009 and 2011, the Volunteers were a dark horse team seeded at 9. As you can guess both times the Vols lost in the first round.

Fortunately for the Volunteers, Bruce Pearl is gone. Now they can start to rebuild their basketball program around hard-working, committed individuals instead of a bunch of overhyped athletes who thought eh world revolved around them. Watching the Tennessee Volunteers for the last six years was sort of like a mystery box. One game they would display their elite talents by working a top 5 team. The next you'd see them falling asleep at the wheel while a severe underdog picked them apart. They simply need to find a consistency in the players their recruit, and maybe they'll find that, now that their recruiting legally.

I always enjoyed the Bruce Pearl-led Volunteers, not because they were a treat to watch, but because I thought I was watching a comedy.

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Enjoy The Final True Big East Basketball Season

This season will be the last time a "true" Big East Tournament tip-off goes on.

All the Madison Square Garden memories. All the ridiculous shots that Gerry McNamara made. All the points Levance Fields scored in the last five minutes. All the times you thought you were watching the NCAA Tournament, when you were really watching the Big East Tournament. All the ankles Kemba Walker broke.  All those good times will be gone after this season, thanks to a greedy move by our friends in the Athletic Director's office over in Syracuse and Pittsburgh.

But, we have one more exciting and possibly even poetic chapter to finish this year in the Book of Big East Basketball. One more opportunity to watch Pittsburgh, Syracuse, Connecticut and Villanova battle it out for East Coast supremacy. The bruising play and phenomenal athletes won't disappear overnight. But losing the likes of 'Cuse and Pitt zaps two major talent sources for the conference. Syracuse and Pitt recruit intensely from the New York Metropolitan area, and I'm just not sure you're going to generate that same interest from NYC once they depart to the ACC. Hopefully teams like Louisville and Villanova can pick up the slack in recruiting, and potentially save the Big East. But it's highly doubtful. 'Cuse and Pitt are just too prestigious and just too powerful to be thrown by the wayside. Folks, I hate to say it, but this is the last "true" season of Big East basketball. The last time we see 8 teams in the top 25. The last time we see ten teams make the NCAA tournament. The last time we get elite college basketball in the garden. Every. Single. Day.

Let's not get tied up in the 2012-'13 season, let's celebrate what we have left. Alex Oriakhi, Hollis Thompson, Darius Johnson-Odom, Ashton Gibbs and Scoop Jardine are all back. Talent is still bleeding out of every corner of this conference, and we need to drink in every last drop. These kids are going to go at it probably even more intensely than usual. So every game is a must-watch. I don't care if Depaul and Providence are going at it(well maybe that's a stretch) every game needs to be watched. Seemingly every game in the Big East regular season is a "big game." That's something you can't say about any other conferences. There are no cake walks in the Big East and that is what makes the Big East regular season and tournament the most popular in all of college basketball. With the recent emergence of St. John's, a regular in MSG, the Big East has become even more popular. Thanks in large part by the addition of Queens' finest fan base. Bruising play both on the offensive and defensive end mimics the hard-nose residents of the Northeast. They greatly appreciate the blue-collar balling that is a signature of college basketball's best conference. One more season will able to put a wonderful, but unfortunate nail in the Big East coffin. Put simply, if you have any slight affection toward the Big East, this season will be so very meaningful to you.


The Big East Tournament will be like a funeral for that friend everyone loves. There will be no mourning, only a huge celebration of 32 years of greatness.

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Sidney Crosby Returns In Style

Sidney Crosby returned with vengeance last night. With that clown

For 11 months Sidney Crosby sat on the bench, trying to recuperate not only his body, but his mind. Plauged by concussions, the NHL's 2nd biggest star, looked as if he was going to have to find a new career. However, finally last night, Sidney Crosby was cleared to return to action, and did so in style.

Sid the Kid wasted no time in making a statement: "I'm back." He scored a phenomenal coast-to-coast goal on only his third shift and finished with two goals and two assists. It was a classic Crosby game. Other than his spectacular first goal, Crosby added a sneaky two apples, while scoring an ugly gino. Yep, Sidney Crosby is back. He's the most unexciting 100 pt scorer you'll ever meet, but hey, he gets the job done. 

I'm glad to see Sid comeback. It's unfortunate to see many of our athletes befallen to the concussion epidemic, and it would have been devastating to NHL popularity if Crosby had never returned. Many doctors and analysts thought that he would never return, let alone a return to glory. We'll see about the return to glory part, but at least for one night, Sidney Crosby was back in his zone. Yes, he was playing the Islanders, but what better team to make your return against? How about getting back into the groove immediately going top cheddar on some should-be-AHLer named Anders Nilsson? Give the guy credit, he didn't let butterflies get the best of him, he came out and impacted the game as soon as he could.

As nice as it is to see Sidney Crosby come return to full health, and as awesome as it is to see him destroy the Islanders, I still cannot stand his game. I'm not going to take away from his stats, he once had 84 apples and 120 points in his '06-'07 season, and he's had more than 100 points in four of his six seasons, the guy rapes the stat sheet. However, I just can't get into his game. I can't get into his stat sheet only impact. He sneaks his way onto plenty of assists, and he's scored enough garbage goals to work for Waste Management. But a goal's a goal, and most of the time an assist is an assist. Don't fool yourself, Crosby has been known for falling asleep for periods at a time, only to return for some bad angle game winning goal. It's hard to argue those 100 points seasons, but when you actually watch his full body of work, you don't see a 100 point scorer whatsoever. I feel as if we're picking splinters here, but the guy's game just doesn't make me want to jump out of my seat and call him the next Gretzky.

Honestly though how in the world can anyone take the guy seriously when he grows a mustache that makes him look like he should in some low-grossing, brutally long, French love film. Plus the guy whines like a teething child, and thinks he's entitled to whatever he wants since his stats sheet is one big crooked number.

So glad you're back Sid, the world can now return to their daily chirp sessions on your dusty mustache and your diving abilities.

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Youtube Vault: The Hardest Hit You'll Ever See

This is a youtube classic. Wisconsin receiver Kyle Jefferson gets absolutely demolished Michigan State CB Nehemiah Warrick a couple years back. It's probably the most violent sounding hit you'll ever hear in your life. Might as well have gotten hit by a truck. Even though it's a helmet-to-helmet, I still don't know how you hit someone that hard. Doesn't it look like the wideout's head just gets knocked off his shoulders for a second. I cannot believe this kid got up, cheers to that.

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The Top 5 NHL Players The Average Fan Needs To Know

1. Jeff Skinner, RW/Center, Carolina Hurricanes
If you don't know Jeff Skinner it's probably not your fault. Who actually watches Carolina Hurricanes hockey? Exactly. But, you're really missing out. The 5'11" 200 lb 2nd year player has shown the hockey world he can make plays. Skinner can absolutely burn it, making little openings on the ice look like interstate freeways. Once he gets to the goal he embarrasses goaltenders with quick hands and a ice cold leg kick.  Though Skinner looks like a midget AAA player, his incredible offensive talents have him looking like a 5 year veteran. He finished with 63 points last year on 31 goals and 32 assists showing he could both finish and dish it. Skinner's season was impressive enough to earn him the Calder Trophy for rookie of the year. Get this though, Jeff Skinner is a mere 19 years old. After a 90 point season with Kitchner Rangers of the OHL in 2009, Skinner was immediately ready for the NHL. Though the Hurricanes are one of the least watched franchises, it's time that you know the NHL's youngest(literally) stud, because before you know it he could be dangling your goalie for a highlight reel goal.

2. Drew Doughty, D, Los Angeles Kings
Over the last few years, the Los Angeles Kings have reestablished themselves atop the Western Conference. This is in large part due to the emergence of Anze Kopitar, Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty. Doughty, though, is probably the most impressive out of the three. Kopitar and Johnson get the limelight because, well, they are flashier, and Johnson loves the spotlight. Doughty's stats are eye-popping. After a rough rookie year in 2008-'09, Doughty exploded for a phenomenal 2009-'10, registering 59 points and a freakish +/- rating of +20. This ridiculous season earned him a spot on the Canadian National Team that won gold in the 2010 Olympics. Doughty followed up that season with another solid 40 pt, +13 season. I'd like to compare the phenomenal Kings defensemen to a 5-tool player in baseball. Doughty can score, make plays  and he can destroy opponents. He is one of the most well-rounded players in the league, and if he didn't play games at 10 PM eastern time, he'd surely be a household name.

3. John Carlson, D, Washington Capitals
Even though John Carlson's is most famous for his no-look GWG in overtime of the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championship, he has slowly become a stabilizer on the shaky Washington Capitals blue line. 2010-'11 was Carlson's first season, and he was unbelievably impressive. Carlson had the maturity to assume his defensive role on the offense-heavy Capitals team. Even being a stay-at-home defenseman, Carlson still racked up 37 points. But most importanly his +/- was a +21. On a team that rarely plays defense and lacks a strong goaltender, that number is unbelievable. That's a testament on the poise and composure that has made Carlson a leader on every single team he plays on. He knows his role, and plays it with pride, making him an extremely desirable teammate. I wouldn't be surprised if Carlson rocks the "A" soon; even at age 21 he's just that much of a leader. The Natick, Mass product is a legend among the intense United States hockey fan, and soon enough he should become a known entity in the NHL.

4. Matt Duchene, C, Colorado Avalanche

Probably the biggest swag surfer on this list, Matt Duchene is a treat to watch. Equipped with soft hands, incredible skating ability, impressive hockey imagination and epic flow, Matt Duchene has shown signs of an elite scorer. The Ontario native scored 55 points in his first season, 67 in his second season, even on a low-scoring Colorado Avalanche team. Duchene can simply play. Probably the most enjoyable part of Duchene's game is his genuine love for hockey. He's always strapped with a smile, and loves to celebrate. Unfortunately for Duchene, the Avalanche have been inconsistent in the few years he's been there. His rookie year Colorado made the playoffs, only to follow it up with a disastrous 2010-'11. But most importantly is that Matt Duchene's game is still growing, he's still understanding how to maximize his talents in the NHL, and he's learning how turn transform his reputation from a simple scorer into an offensive mastermind.

5. Evander Kane, LW, Winnipeg Jets

Evander Kane has the major misfortune of playing for the Winnipeg Jets(formerly the Atlanta Thrashers). His team is about as underwhelming as an NFC West game. But, Evander Kane's combination of skill and strength has become a sight to see. Though the Vancouver product plays on a terrible team, he still has proven he can provide both toughness and offense. He's 6'2" 185 lbs, but has a Marine-like frame. Best known for his one-hit knockout on Matt Cooke, Kane has proven that he is a vicious free-swinging fighter. However, he's not all about fisticuffs, he's got some dynamic skills as well. Now he's not going to light up the stat sheet, that is not his MO. Kane does a bit of everything out there, and is one hell of a teammate to have. It will take Evander Kane a lot longer to establish himself as a household name because A: he plays for the Jets and B: he isn't a stat sheet abuser. Yet, Kane's relentless effort and excessive heart will certainly make an impression on you real soon.

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What Oregon Has Meant To College Football

The Oregon Ducks transfer the swagger from their jerseys to their on-field play

The Oregon Ducks are at the forefront of style in not only college football, but football in general. They've become the guinea pig for alumnus Phil Knight's company Nike and they've not only blossomed into the coolest team in the NCAA, but also one of the most dominant teams on the field.

The Oregon Ducks have been gaining swagger and steam ever since Dennis Dixon stepped onto the field back in 2006. Dixon, brought an athleticism that some felt mimicked Vince Young's at Texas. In 2007, the Ducks new look QB had them rolling at 8-1 and a #2 BCS ranking. Unfortunately, he torn his ACL and the Ducks lost there next three, finishing the season at 9-4. Dixon moved onto the NFL, giving way to the infamous Jeremiah Masoli.

Masoli, blessed with power, speed and an over-the-top confidence, led the Ducks to back-to-back 10-3 records, including a Rose Bowl visit in 2009. The Ducks gained extra notoriety when LaGarrette Blount thought it'd be a good idea to throw a right hook in Boise State lineman Byron Hout's face. Instead, the LaGarrette was suspended for the year, and the Ducks seemed poised for another unfortunate year. Emerging out of the ashes of Blount's bad decisions, was 5'9" 185 lb freshman LaMicheal James. The Texarkana product, burst onto the scene rushing for 1546 yards and 14 TDs. Masoli and James became an unstoppable force in the rushing game; Masoli punished defenses while James embarrassed them. Oregon's offense had become one of the best in college football.

After a disappointing loss in the 2009 Rose Bowl, the Ducks were poised for a National Championship caliber season. Once again, disaster struck the Oregon squad. Jeremiah Masoli and teammate Garrett Embry were booted from the team after being charged with second-degree burglary. For the second year in a row, the Ducks preseason BCS flame had simmered. But yet again, the Ducks had two more up-and-comers that shoulder an unlikely load. Quarterback Darron Thomas stepped up and filled Masoli's shoes, but instead of being a run-first QB, Thomas showed that he could truly run the widespread Oregon offense. The emergence of senior wideout Jeff Maehl and sophomore running back/punt returner Kenjon Barner made the Oregon ducks even more versatile. Middle linebacker Casey Matthews commanded a significantly improved defense. As the team matured, they made their statement in week 5 by embarrassing #9 Stanford 52-31. From there on out the Ducks were simply unstoppable on their way to the National Championship. Oregon met it's match in the National Championship as SEC leader Auburn, walked away with a close 22-19 win.

2011's preseason hype proved to be too much as the #3 Ducks lost to another SEC opponent, the LSU Tigers on opening weekend. But, for the third season in a row, Oregon overcame early season adversity, going on a 9 game tear up until this point in the season. But, there statement win came once again against the #4 Stanford Cardinal, this time 53-30 on the road. Now the Nike poster boys are quietly sitting in the #4 spot, waiting and hoping for another opportunity to play for a National Championship.

Beyond the history lesson I just gave you, Oregon, in big part to Nike, has transformed college football. Chip Kelly's offensive game plan is just as swaggered up as the phenomenal jerseys they wear. Once Nike realized that these Combat Zone jerseys were a hit, they went buck wild, giving every Nike-sponsored college team a few different sets of new jerseys. Ever since USC's recruiting violations, Oregon has assumed the role as West Coast favorite(yes, they are more popular than Stanford) and they have done so very nicely. Their "the best defense is a unstoppable offense" philosophy is phenomenally desirable to the average college football fan. Led by two running backs with Oscar winning highlight reels, the "O" has created magic. Every time the Pac-12 leaders strap it up, they bring offense and style, I mean, what more could you want? Think of the Ducks as the 'Lil Wayne of college football; they're always swag surfin'.  Simply said, the Oregon Ducks have made college football truly trendy.

I like to call it swagger personified.

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U.S.A Soccer Breaks Out

Since Jurgen Klinnsman took over earlier this year, there has been nothing but disappointment for United States soccer. Multiple losses in brutally boring fashion has led soccer analysts, such as Alexi Lalas, to question what in the world Klinnsman has been doing.

Yesterday, the United States finally awoke from it's several month long offensive slumber to truly dominate a similar foe. They beat a Slovenian team 3-2, who they tied in stupidly dramatic fashion in the World Cup more than a year ago. This game was played in a dense fog which made it a truly spectacular sight to see. Edson Buddle scored on a nice volley settled by Dempsey to make it 1-0. Then Dempsey finished a beautiful header on a corner kick from Michael Bradley that made it 2-1. Before the first half even ended, newly discovered stud, Fabian Johnson was tackled in the box, allowing for Jozy Altidore to make it 3-1 on the penalty kick. All of the sudden the United States had a volatile offense, and seemingly could have won this game 5 or 6-2 if it wasn't for some sloppy finishing.

For Klinnsman it's an important step forward. He hadn't really been making any types of successful alteration to the lineup, and finally, last night he added a second striker and put the lineup into a 4-4-2. Probably the most important part of the lineup was the "diamond" midfielder set with Dempsey as an attacking mid, Bradley and young gun Fabian Johnson on the wings and big man Kyle Beckerman at defensive mid. The extra attacking prowess turned the sputtering engine that was into a unstoppable machine, at least for the 1st half.

The problem with Klinnsman hasn't been the results, it's been the lack of changes he's made. He has seemingly left the lineups the same, until now. Let's keep our criticism of Klinnsman to a minimum until at least World Cup qualifying. I still have faith in the guy.

US Soccer is no overnight project, it's a 3 year deal.

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Sanchise Vs. Ellie

The Giants and Jets have found themselves in a similar predicament all too often. Their quarterbacks are wildly inconsistent and in an intense sports city like New York, that's simply unacceptable.

Right now, the Giants are sitting decently atop the NFC East standings even after dropping an key game to the unstoppable San Francisco 49ers. But, Giants fans know all too well to be comfortable with a 1 game lead. There quarterback is Eli Manning, and too often they have seen Eli start a season off brilliantly only to see him fade as the season grows old. Eli is off to one of his best seasons ever. He's thrown 17 TDs and only 8 INTs. For the Ole Miss-alum, that TD-to-INT ratio has been his achilles heel. Last year he threw for 31 TDs, but managed to throw the ball to other team 25 times, a haunting stat throughout his career. However, Manning has recently shaken off his sometimes ugly stat sheet to win some huge games. Two weeks ago he executed a two-minute drill against the Patriots that almost mirrored the one he commanded in Super Bowl 42. As you can guess, Giants fans were singing Eli's praises. The saying all week was "You can't spell Elite without Eli.". Unfortunately for us non-Giants fans, that statement is slowly becoming a reality. Eli has seemingly found the sort of consistency that is required from an elite quarterback in the NFL. However, it feels as if we've been saying that since 2007 when he led the G-Men to a Super Bowl title.

Will Eli ever find consistency?

Eli seemed to take a step back last year, throwing 3 INTs or more in 4 games. So the question remains, can Eli solidify his consistency or will it continue to be season-to-season? Can he finally demand the respect he deserves? I mean, the guy is a Super Bowl winner, even if he did it behind a superb offensive line, a punishing running game and a unbelievable pass rush. There must be some solace in that. That's why I'm not even sure the debate is on-the-field anymore. I believe NFL fans can't take Eli's soft facial expressions and awkward post game interviews seriously. Playing football in New York is not for the weak-hearted, yet I think Eli has been unfairly dubbed "soft." The guy has started every single game he has been called on to start. He's played 112 consecutive games, how are you going to say he's soft? Eli's been bloodied and flat-out destroyed, but he gets up and shakes it off, every single time. Well, again, maybe it's because he looks like a freshman in college, or because people question his command over his teammates. I'm pretty sure he's got the Giants fans on his side, but it might just take another Super Bowl win for him to cement his legacy among New York's finest.

Mark Sanchez seems to be dealing with the same sort of problems that Eli had during the early years of his career. Sanchez immediately assumed the starting quarterback role on a team with a vicious defense and dominating ground game. Both Eli and Sanchez should have had it easy in their first few years. All they had to do was be game managers. Eli had masterful regular seasons, only to be grasping for air come playoff time. Sanchez, on the other hand, has had abysmal regular seasons turn into magical post season runs. So Jets fans, or NFL fans in general, we cannot throw wave the white flag in Sanchez's face yet.

Mark Sanchez is "all-smiles" all too often.

The "Sanchise" stepped up in a big game against the Buffalo Bills two weeks again, helping the Jets win 27-11. Then he had an opportunity to take a major step forward in his career by beating the Pats the following weekend. But once again, Sanchez hit rock bottom. At this point it's hard to imagine if Sanchez will ever become consistent. Seemingly every time he takes a step forward, he takes two big steps back. Despite his 4-2 record in the playoffs, he still hasn't earned much respect among NFL analysts, players or fans. Several of his big-game let downs have soured the taste in many Jets' fans' mouths. Some want his head as we speak. They say he's wasting the immense defensive and offensive talent the Jets have. Some claim that he couldn't care less about football, that he's more concerned about his GQ photo shoots and his superstar status in the Big Apple. His inconsistent play is indicative of major lapses in concentration. Sanchez seems to rely on his teammates during the regular season, just like a young child relies on his mother. Yet, all of the sudden, come the 2nd week of January, Mark Sanchez instantly matures and assumes the role of hero. Stats don't lie folks, Sanchez's passer rating is a very respectable 94.3 in the playoffs, but a brutally mediocre 73.1 during the regular season. With Sanchez getting closer to finishing his third NFL season, he still lacks stable play, while still carrying that pretty boy smile. The City of New York rushes everything, we know that. Year 3 for Mark Sanchez, must seem like Year 9 for him. Wear and tear from media and fan pressure, must have him waking up everyday with a migraine. But the "Sanchise" seemingly brushes it off with ease, something the New York Jet fan base has become more and more livid about. While I'm cautioning New Yorkers to write him off, it is time for Mark Sanchez to grow out of his pre-maddona Southern Californian attitude, and become a man before it's too late.

Because remember folks, Eli won a Super Bowl in his third season as starting quarterback.

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