Continuing with our comical comparison.
Matt Schaub-Young Jeezy
Schaub can put up unbelievable numbers and Young Jeezy can drop a phenomenal hook. These two are talented, but don’t have true pedigrees. There both guys you look at say, those guys can sling it, but can they win it? I’m not sure Jeezy has ever rapped a verse with any deep meaning or lyrical intellect. Matt Schaub has yet to win anything in his life, but his stats are still phenomenal. These are guys you love to watch and listen to, but don’t want on your team when it’s crunch time.
Tim Tebow- Waka Flocka Flame
These two guys have become overnight legends, for what reason, I have no idea. Tim Tebow can’t throw a football and really doesn’t understand how to run a NFL offense and Waka Flocka Flame has not an ounce of lyrical ability in his body. But Tebow somehow wins games and Waka somehow makes anthems. Both of them are laughable at times, but they’ve surprisingly had a ton of success. I’m going to call it right now, though, both will be after thoughts by the year 2013. Oh, and I think both of them are wildly unintelligent…like really, really dumb. WAKA!
Mark Sanchez-Trey Songz
Pretty boys galore here. I’m not sure either will be around in a year from now. Both have had mild success in their fields, but haven’t been able to find consistency. Trey Songz has dropped some phenomenal hooks and Sanchez has won some big games, but neither is immensely talented and won’t blow your mind at any point. They’d both probably have more consistent careers being male models. But, why male models?
Cam Newton-Mac Miller
It hurts me to say that Mac Miller and Cam Newton are similar, because I think that Mac is falling off, but his stats say differently. Newton is clearly going to win offensive rookie of the year, and Mac Miller somehow made Forbes 30 under 30(still mind-blowing, must have made some great investments.) Both play and rap with ridiculous swagger, but neither come off as too arrogant. Each had skills before they blew up, but it just took the right stage for them to find their fame. For Cam it was Auburn, for Mac it was Donald Trump.
Joe Flacco- Styles P
These guys are both underrated, but not by too much. Neither of them are going to blow you away with their passing or lyrical abilities. However, both of them are highly regarded by the experts. Styles P usually raps over epic beats, and has rapped some high quality verses. Flacco has an unbelieveable team around him, and has made a few amazing plays in his day. What I really love about this comparison is that both are consistent. You can rely on them to get the job done, simple as that.
Matt Stafford- Chiddy Bang
Another stretch here but hear me out. Stafford and Chiddy have both had solid success in early in their careers, and both have shown some great potential. But here’s where they connect, Matt Stafford would be half the quarterback he was without Calvin Johnson, while Chiddy Bang wouldn’t get away with half of his verses if it wasn’t for his unreal producer Xaphoon Jones. Stafford is on the cusp of breaking out if he can win a playoff game or two, while Chiddy Bang is about to drop his first album; can you say make or break?
Andy Dalton-OnCue
Might be a bit of my own promotion on this one, but you’ll get it. Oncue is a talented rapper that no one has heard of thanks to the fact that A, he sounds like Sam Adams, B, is white. But, like Andy Dalton, he’s the greatest thing you’ve never heard or seen. Dalton has quietly helped the Bengals into a position where they control their own playoff destiny. OnCue just produced a mixtape that might not get you out of your seat, but it will definitely get your head boppin’ and your mind thinking. Expect the two of these ugly white boys to appear on your TV screen in the near future.
Matt Leinart-Sam Adams
This is probably my favorite comparison. Both Matt Leinart and Sam Adams were hyped up coming into their prime career years. Leinart, with a Heisman trophy and an epic career at USC, and Adams with a couple pop hit chart climbers. However, instead of building off their accomplishments, the two decided to sit back and party their dicks off with their signing bonuses. Leinart is a year or two away from never playing again, and Sam Adams is struggling to get his career back on track after travelling Europe and spending all his money. I don’t like either one of these guys, and I won’t be sad to seem them leave us.
Carson Palmer- Fabolous
Last, but not least, we have one of my favorite QBs and favorite rappers. Both have done enough in their careers, and shown enough skills to be standouts, but somehow missed that championship boat. Now I’m not saying each of them aren’t recognized, because they are, but Carson never had as many wins as he should and Fabo never produced as many chart toppers as he could. Both are still lingering in the game and doing a respectable thing here or there, but neither seem to have the cutthroat mentality to get to the very top.
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