DeShawn Stevenson topped the charts of "ridiculous things ever done" with an ATM in his kitchen. |
This is absolutely one of the most un-toppable things I've ever seen in my life. DeShawn Stevenson has basically turned his home into a bank for himself.
It's like DeShawn woke up one morning and was like "Yo, what is the most unrealistic, ridiculous, self-promoting, egotistical, funny thing I could do right now while I'm sitting at home not in the playoffs because I play for the New...Brook...Whatever Nets? Oh my god. I've got it, I'm gonna put an ATM in my house so I can be straight cash homie." I'm also interested to see if he's got a transaction fee on it so he feels like he's getting paid, when he's actually just trading money from spot A to spot B and back again. Anyways. Come on now, DeShawn this is like screaming at the top of your lungs, "I'VE GOT 5,000 DOLLARS IN MY POCKETS," in a crowd full of gypsies. Dude, you're going to get robbed, simple as that. At the same token, I'll give you credit. I can't fathom anyone else decided that their free time be devoted to buying an ATM. You have quenched my thirst for the ridiculous my friend and for that I praise you...and laugh at you.
This is the same guy that was walking around flaunting this t-shirt after he single-handedly stopped Lebron James(I'm kidding, he didn't single-handedly do anything):
Clever t-shirt to be wearing out the night after you were crowned an NBA champ even though you felt you deserved it more than some other people on your team (cough...cough...Jason Terry, J-Kidd, Marion) when you really didn't. It's OK though, because I have no idea how it feels to win an NBA Championship or anything close to that matter. DeShawn was like the #TeamHateLebron #1 mascot and for that I commend him. He actually was on #TeamHateLebron way before it was even cool to be on that Twitter team. He's like the hipster of the hate game.
Actually, Stevenson is bigger than all that. I'd go as far to say he means as much to #TeamHateLebron as Jordan meant to #TeamChicagoBulls. Lebron's boy Jay-Z wrote a diss about Nas, Prodigy and DeShawn Stevenson? Wait, which one isn't like the others? Check this out:
Seriously? Jay-Z wrote a diss song about a mediocre NBA player who does little more than defend? Wow, all hail DeShawn for inciting 'Bron's whole crew. Cleveland should go ahead and sign him on principle, just to keep the #TeamHateLebron squad buzzing.
I do also have to ask two things of DeShawn:
1. What the HELL is this tattoo?
2. Why did you go from playing on average 15 solid minutes with the Dallas Mavericks to playing on average 18 terrible minute with the New Jersey Nets?